Thursday Thoughts ii

The things i get done by avoiding others

Yesterday i caught myself wanting to pick up my knitting even though the next step looks really complicated and will require lots of thinking and i have been avoiding it for a few days.

But that seemed much more attractive then the thing i had sat down to actually do. I was going to paint some cards that i am hoping to sell at a Christmas market in late November. Why i am doing this now is a long story but i need all the cards to be done by September so next to all the pressure i am putting on myself to make the cards and each illustration perfect, is the time pressure.

My mind suddenly becomes amazingly creative as to what else i should do instead, pick up my knitting, start writing my monthly newsletter even though it’s still the middle of the month, clean the bathroom, do laundry, the never ending list continues.

rainbow stones, Samso, Denmark 2021

Sometimes these times are the ones i get the most stuff done, things get ticked off my mental to do list, the, at other times more unpleasant things, suddenly seem so much easier, i can trick myself, convince myself that i am being productive by doing all these other things. The thing i actually sat down to down, is still un-done.

Don’t even get me started on all the other distractions i fall for. Instagram being my worst enemy. Or just a quick check into my emails, has someone posted a new interesting note on Substack? anything really.

Sometimes these tasks, the things i have to do seem too big, too hard, too dangerous

The way i seem to cope with these kind of situations is either said distractions of other tasks or my phone. The other thing that can happen is i just freeze. I am no longer able to do anything. I am overwhelmed, especially when several of these neccessary tasks pile up, i feel paralised.

That is usally where the overthinking comes in. Is it even worth trying to finish these tasks? What if no one likes the outcome? I should just stop.

This especially happens with work i want to share (online) with others. I start comparing it to others, other writers, other artists, other photographers. On days like yesterday all of my stuff just sucks and no one cares about it anyway. The rational part of me knows that that is not true, it really does. But i don’t always have full acces to my rational thoughts.

Yesterday i managed to not go spiralling down. Instead i let myself step away, welcomed the feelings, examined them and then thought of one small thing i could to towards completing the painting of the cards. I sketched out some rough ideas and then let it rest. In the evening i was sure that not everything was lost and made two more cards.

I guess what i am trying to share is that in times of overwhelm and overthinking be gracious with yourself and do one small thing instead of the big, seemingly heavy thing. Or do nothing for a day, i’m quite sure no one will die if you don’t do it right this minute, this hour, this day. Be kind and gentle.

Sometimes this is easier said then done, I don’t always manage to be kind and gentle but I try my best every time and that is all I can to.

Hope you have a wonderful Thursday.