Should i leave Instagram for good?

Humming and harring, feeling fomo and anxiety

The other day i went to log in to my Instagram account (or should i say one of them….) to have a quick little peep at what everyone was up to. I had recently changed my password and when i tried to log in on a different device Instagram became suspicious and logged me out stating they had sent me an email with further instructions on how to get back into my account and that if i didn’t follow these instructions my account would be disabled in 24 hours.

At first i panicked, refreshing my inbox every few seconds. Nothing.

Then a new thought came: what if this is the sign i have been waiting for, the final straw for me to get off Instagram for good?

I started using Instagram in 2017, some might say, not so long ago. Back then i had my personal, private account with which i followed friends, food blogs and artists. I also created a bookish account,@_mylittlebookshelf_ and was part of the bookstagram community for quite some years. I loved Instagram, the connections i made, the things i learned, the creative output it gave me. After five years with my bookish account i felt constricted by the niche i had chosen, books, and created another account, my current one @_mylittlemoment_, which i wanted to use for a bit of everything. It has turned into lots of pictures of flowers, nature, food and still lifes. I moved away from my bookish account, logged out but couldn’t bring myself to hit delete on all those years of (fun) work.

I am very much a victim of doom scrolling, watching seemingly never ending stories of people living their best lives (are they though?), reels did their bit and i would spend hours a day glued to my screen, as many of us do.

Every now and then i would log out of my accounts (personal one and public one) and delete the app off my phone. This gave some relief. I spent somewhat less time on my phone, though i am also very good at finding other ways (hello YouTube, Pinterest and Substack!) to distract myself.

I must admit, even with the app deleted i would regularly log in via the internet to keep up with what my friends and aquaintances were up to, i felt terrible not knowing what others might know, scared of not being able to keep up with gossip or even just current events (this is obviosly FOMO speaking here…).

At this point i don’t get anything out of Instagram other than the latest relationship updates, celebrity gossip, trips my friends have gone on and the odd recipe to try.

Quite on the contrary: Instagram is taking more from me. Time, motivation, inspiration.

Things i do get from Instagram are negative: imposter syndrom, anxiety, FOMO.

One of the reasons (or is it an excuse i am using?) not to delete the app is that there is beautiful stuff on the app. Photography, art, music, even videos, i can find inspiration, encouriging words or new ideas, not all of it is plain bad.

Instagram is the only form of social media i use aside from Substack, no TikTok, no Twitter no Facebook (or does Pinterest count?). Does that allow me stay? Is that my permission slip? “I’m not as bad as others with my social meadia use because i only use one plattfoorm?” I have the answer ti that question yself:hat is quite obviouly bullshit.

Maybe i am not quite ready to fully and irrevocably delete my Instagram. But will i ever be?

For now i am going to deactivate my private account (that means it is hidden from the social media world but still out there if i want to start using it again). By the time you read this, my account will (hopefully, fingers scrossed) have been deactivated for almost a month, maybe i will write another post about how it is without social media. Or maybe i will have caved, given in to FOMO and be a regular Instagram user again. Only time will tell.

Right now it feels good the way it is. My screen time has gone dow, and i feel more grounded. There are days where i will get stuck on Youtube, or find other silly little things i just desperately need to look up, but those days are becoming less.

Here’s to staying present in the real world, only using social media as long as it gives us something back and always listening to our selves rather than other peoples opinions and trends.

Why does this feel like one of these ‘easier said than done’ situatons though?

I am doing my best, that is all i can do right now, until i know better.

Pippa

ps. if you know of someone who would also enjoy this letter, consider sharing it with them. That way we can both benefit:)